This soup was added to our weekly menu by Deke who suggested 'something with potatoes'. I want to share it with you because it was moderately delicious.
And because it almost killed me.
I began preparing the ingredients for the soup when I got home from work on Wednesday. Deke was at Jui Jitsu with three of the four kids. I knew the kids would be hungry when they got home and I knew they would not be satisfied with a bowl of green soup. I went ahead and got their dinner ready (mac and cheese with fish sticks, FTW) and kept prepping my soup. I felt no sense of urgency to get the soup ready because I had eaten no fewer than 6 bowls of cereal upon arrival in the kitchen.
I stopped prep to sit down with the kids for dinner, even though I wasn't eating. I only see them for like 30 minutes a day, ya know. I went back to the soup when they went upstairs to bed but then the baby needed to be fed so I again paused the soup.
Three hours from the start of prep, I returned to the kitchen and started cooking the bacon.
Deke came downstairs and said the bacon smelled funny.
I hissed at her and carried on.
Deke said she was going for a walk and took the baby.
With everyone gone or in bed I was relieved of any pressure to finish the soup in a timely manner. I tenderly added the ingredients to the pot and washed dishes while the soup simmered.
This is nice, I thought. Cooking is nice.
The recipe instructed me to pour the soup into a blender, in batches, and blend until smooth. I deliberated between using my trustee food processor or Deke's blender. The food processor was a little grimy from living above the stove, plus I tend to follow recipes to the T and it SAID blend it in a blender.
The first batch went well. The lumpy potato and kale stew blended into a smooth green soup as pictured above and I patted myself on the back.
The second batch, for reasons that probably involve science, did not go as well. The blender lid did not want to stay on, despite my firm, towel-covered, grip. It belched hot liquid every time I hit the power. Frustrated, I removed the lid to let some steam escape and started wiping stray soup off the counter. I cleaned around the blender and then, unwisely, went to move the blender out of my way. My hand hit the on-switch and a quick cyclone of soup spewed across the kitchen.
For the record, my trustee food processor, which I am more accustomed to, would never betray me like this. It will not turn on unless the lid is locked into place. As it should be.
Despite the mess and mild flesh wounds, still burning, I obediently finished blending the stupid soup, cleaned the kitchen, put away the devil-machine, and even ate a few bites before going upstairs to take a shower and treat my burns.
It was difficult for me to enjoy the soup but Deke helped herself to two bowls when she returned home from her walk. Her palate untarnished by trauma, she said it was delicious.
Here's the recipe should you feel inspired to try harder. For the love of god, use a proper blending tool! From The Food Network
- 3 slices bacon, chopped
- 1 3/4 pounds Yukon gold potatoes (about 3), peeled and diced
- 1 leek (white and light green parts only), halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary and/or thyme
- Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
- 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
- 1 medium bunch kale, stems removed, leaves chopped (about 10 cups)
- 1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 tablespoon sour cream
- 2 tablespoons chopped smoked almonds
Cook the bacon in a large Dutch oven or pot over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until crisp, about 5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.
Add the potatoes and leek to the drippings in the pot and cook, stirring, until the leek is slightly softened, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic, herbs, 1/4 teaspoon salt and a few grinds of pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are slightly browned, about 2 minutes. Add the chicken broth and 4 cups water and bring to a simmer; cover and cook 15 minutes. Add about three-quarters of the kale; continue cooking, covered, until wilted, about 5 minutes. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce.
Meanwhile, preheat the broiler. Toss the remaining kale with the olive oil on a baking sheet; season with salt and pepper. Broil until crisp, about 3 minutes.
Thin the sour cream with a splash of water. Working in 3 to 4 batches, puree the soup in a blender until smooth; reheat if needed. Serve topped with the sour cream, kale chips, bacon and almonds.